This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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