aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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