I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
FUCK WHALES
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