Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
