yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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