:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she smelled like a LAN party
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
