I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
