I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
