Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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