the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
