im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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