I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
