We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
