dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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