plz talk dirty to me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
