If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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