do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
not ubering you a puppy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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