How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
