Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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