You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
