wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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