How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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