We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
