Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
cat food counts as protein by the way
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well I just put wine in my tea
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
