I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you traded sex for a burrito?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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