i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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