Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
