shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
