If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
