good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
