5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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