took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
