did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize