We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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