Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
