so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i would punch a child for taco bell
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize