i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
