i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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