Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
