Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
