its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
