Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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