I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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