I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
