so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
