You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
