I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
