Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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