Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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