even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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