That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
