These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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