Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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