I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
