To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
