One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i barfeds in our rink
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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